Don't Toy With Me
by hoshiko2kokoro
Summary: America plays with Legos without knowing England is watching him


There are so many things England expected of America at this point in their relationship, many of them included him being downright stupid. But this. This was an all new level for him.

"Watch out!" America yelled. He held a small, yellow Lego figurine high in the air, moving him as if he were a plane soaring through the sky. "They're sending reinforcements! The Germans are attacking! Ah! Fire, fire, fire!"

America then made machine gun noises as he held up a Lego plane. He put the Lego man into the cockpit and flew it around. He knocked over other planes and tanks on the ground, making explosion noises, throwing other Lego figurines into the air. England watched in muted amusement at the scene. The entire living room had been pushed aside of all furniture and a massive recreation of the Battle of Britain was constructed completely out of Legos. On the far side close to the television set was a Big Ben and Tower Bridge Lego set and was wrapped around a blue towel from the bathroom that represented the River Thames. Opposite it was what looked like Germany where a fleet of ships and tanks were pointing at Lego London. When America wanted to go all out, he really went all out.

America then smashed a plane into a wall, sending various pieces flying. They littered the ground like shrapnel after a bomb struck the ground. A few tumbled onto England's cat, Ace, disturbing him awake. He was a round, white cat with a brown tail and brown fur around his neck like that of a mane. Instead of leaving, however, he began to bat at the scattered pieces. His tail flickered and then he hunched down, ready to pounce.

"Oh!" America noticed Ace and decided to play along. He put his Lego man down. "A new monster approaches! Let's leave WWII and go back in time! FWOOSH!"

America swept his arm out to push away the supposed German Lego army. His Big Ben set remained, but he defaced the clock tower. Within seconds he had changed it into a castle tower like out of one of his Disney movies. At the very top was a small Lego man with, England noticed, hand drawn eyebrows on its scowling face. He frowned at this. A wave of self-consciousness hit him and he rubbed his eyebrows out of habit.

At the bottom of the castle tower was another Lego man. This one had on a brown jacket and tiny hand-painted glasses. It even had a cowlick sticking out of its blonde hair piece. England rolled his eyes. Leave it to America to ask Denmark to make special figurines of _himself_.

"Oh my fair Arthur!" America sang. He pushed his Lego duplicate's arms up, reaching for the Lego England. Then he copied the pose with even one leg bent so he was kneeling with one arm dramatically up in the air. England nearly burst out laughing. "I am here to save you!"

Ace had been playing with the forgotten pieces off to the side when he was picked up by America. He howled in protest. America plopped the fat Maine Coon right in front of the tower. The cat didn't look amused.

America snatched his Lego self to dramatically gasp and lean away from the animal in mock horror. "What vile fiend is _this_? You shall not keep me from my beloved Arthur you ugly monster!"

America put a finger on the England Lego, moving him as he spoke. His voice took on a horrible English accent that made England wrinkle his nose and curl his lip. America thought England secretly admired it and always denied it, but really, England just found it too atrocious to even be considered an attempt. If he tried then maybe England would find it cute. Until then it was just stupid.

"Bloody 'ell Alfred!" America exclaimed. "This wanker is messing up our jolly good time, wot wot! Save me you big burly Yank!"

America stood, Lego in hand, and flexed. "Fear not my most beautiful Arthur! I shall be right there!"

In a second America had fallen to his knees, startling poor Ace. The cat rose to run, but America practically pounced on him to stop him. "Wait, wait Ace! Stay! I'll give you treats later!"

That did the trick. Ace's ears perked up and he say right back down. Now he seemed more much more interested and animated. He even licked his lips and focused on the Lego America in the nation's hand. America, satisfied, sat back on his knees and reached to the side, producing another Lego from seemingly nowhere. This Lego was a duplicate of Japan.

"_Hai¸Afuredo-san_," America said in a fake Japanese accent. He dropped his tone to match Japan's own deeper voice. "I beweve the weak point is on za wower weft side of its weg."

England nearly snorted into his hand which would effectively alert America to his being there. Luckily the American kept talking.

He shot an arm out suddenly. "Stand back, Kiku! I shall handle this! I have a powerful weapon that shall destroy this monster!"

America bent down and began poking and prodding the cat who no longer looked happy. Ace meowed indignantly, swatting away at the Lego man. He soon turned his efforts onto America's fingers, eventually just biting him.

"Ow! Ace!" The cat simply purred in response. England couldn't help but feel proud of his cat. America stuck his finger in his mouth to suck on the wound for a moment before he popped it back out and smiled in determination. "Hm… Gotta rethink my strategy."

Again he put on his gross accent and moved the England Lego. "Bollocks Alfred! I'm a hot, horny mess and I need your massive dick in me. Now hurry up and shag me you wankering git!"

At this England flushed right down to his toes. Was that what America really thought of him? Like some helpless damsel in distress that only wanted a lay? Did he not think there was more to their relationship? Sure this was all for good fun, but normally one acted out what they wanted. Was that all America wanted of him now? Briefly England had half a mind to break up the scene and confront America about this, but the moment passed and America continued his fun.

"I'm coming my beloved!" America then picked up another Lego man. He tossed it in front of Ace. "There must be a sacrifice to distract the cat. You won't die in vain, Matt!"

Ace zeroed on the new toy that had fallen from the heavens. He prepared to pounce again with a wiggle of his butt and a slight kneading of his paws into the carpet.

America changed his voice again, but this time into a softer tone. He spoke barely above a whisper. "I'll do anything for you brother. Maple! Eh!" Suddenly Ace slammed a paw down on the Canada Lego. America was laughing while feigning sorrow. "Oh boo hoo! My loyal brother is dead!"

Shortly after he stopped laughing he changed it back to Japan's voice. He held the Lego up near his face as he spoke. "But now is za time chu attack!"

"You're right!" America pumped a fist into the air and loudly declared, "Your death shall not be in vain brother! I will slay the beast and save the fair Englishman!"

Just as America was to put his scheme into motion, Ace left. Crumpet, England's older cat, had wandered into the room to see what the commotion was about. Ace chased after the Scottish Fold with the Canada Lego still in his mouth. He proudly presented it to Crumpet who only sniffed it and then walked away with an unimpressed look on his face. America turned to watch him leave with a pout on his face when he saw England standing in the foyer. He yelped in surprise and fell back onto the balls of his heels too quickly.

He lost his balance, falling and landing right on the Lego pieces that were still strewn about. England winced in sympathy. America cried out in pain as he leapt up. His hands grabbed at his butt where he plucked all of the remaining pieces out of his behind.

"A-Arthur!" he squeaked. He blushed at his voice crack. "You're home early!"

England wanted to smile in endearment or tease him affectionately, but something still bothered him. He crossed his arms irritably as he stared at America silently. America only offered a nervous half-smile in returned, but it wavered the longer England remained quiet.

"H-how long have you been standing there?" America sputtered.

"Oh, long enough to hear you say I want your big _dick_." America cringed. England narrowed his eyes as he awaited an explanation.

America stood with his arms out and a small smile on his face. "Pretty funny, huh?" England didn't smile. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Do you really think of me like that?" England asked sharply.

"Like a Lego?"

England sighed. "As some helpless horny man?"

America's blush reddened all the more. "No, of course not."

England flung an arm out, waving it towards the Lego town set up behind America. "Then why the hell did you put me in a tower and pretend to have me say all of that?"

America laughed. "You're thinking way too hard about this! It's just role play!"

"Fantasy then?" England scoffed.

"Exactly!"

"So this is your fantasy of me?" America chewed on his lower lip to stall for an answer. He knew then and there he had just dug a hole for himself. England growled. "Piss off you intolerable asshole."

Despite this being England's house, the nation turned as if he were about to leave. He wasn't sure where exactly he'd go off to, but he knew he'd slam the door in America's face when he did. Just as his mind whirled off into a panic-set mode of what to do America grabbed him by the wrist.

"Arthur wait, please!" America tried. "Just hear me out!"

"Oh, I heard you perfectly well!" England spat. He didn't even want to look at America.

"No, listen to me!" He took England's other wrist to use as a means to pull the nation around so they could look each other in the eyes. "Arth-England!"

America's sudden change made England stop. He gave up his attempts to escape and waited for America to go on. He wasn't looking him in the eyes, but slowly, England lifted his head. America's face was a furious shade of red, but there was determination behind his nervous and embarrassed eyes. "It's all for fun, but as to why I… You know me… I… I want to be your hero… no matter what. Even if you don't need saving… Even if you over react and try to run out of your own house… I still want to save, protect, and love you…"

England's resolve dwindled. "But that… dick comment…"

America laughed, releasing his hold. "Can I help it if you're so sexy and bed? Besides….it's really me who...wants your cock."

Steam had to have been coming out of England's ears. He swayed on the spot as the comment struck him right in the heart. Had this been a cartoon he probably would have melted on the floor. Suddenly it all caught up with him. He really had read too deeply into the situation, caught on to one point, and closed his ears off to any other thought other than his own. In reality America was just a big kid. Of course he'd joke around with Legos, make a giant city in the sitting room, make up his own movie, and somehow be the hero.

Slowly England smiled. "Ah, love?"

"Hm?" America wasn't sure if he should smile or not. Sometimes England's smiles could be deceiving.

"You had all the makings of one of your Hollywood movies, but you forgot explosions."

America leaned back and released a loud belly laugh. England's smile only grew as he felt the tension ebb away. "I was totally going to, but then your cat left!"

"You were not about to blow up Ace!" England yelled.

America only laughed harder. England punched him until suddenly he was wrapped up tight in a hug. "Next time… just play with me," America said softly, his voice muffled against England's shoulder. "We'll play any scenario you want…"

England chuckled and hugged America back. "I'll try… But you don't have any unicorns or fairies."

America held England out at arms length. "Then let's get some! We'll reenact WWII, the super high version because that's what we'd have to be if we're to see some fucking fairies and make believe shit! I totally have everyone in Lego form!"

"So I noticed." England thought back to the eyebrows on his Lego version. "Mine looked hideous."

"That's the one I made," America said proudly. "I told Denmark I was the only one who could capture your good side, so I'd be the one to make it. He laughed and said you had none and that I was just crazy!"

England frowned despite America's laughing. He shook his head and waited until the man quieted down. "Oh, you didn't save me."

America snapped his fingers at the remembrance of his play time. "You're right!" He scooped England into his arms effortlessly and, predictably, England protested this with much kicking and squirming. "Oh my non-damsel in distress! I have come to rescue you!"

England slapped America's chest playfully and laughed. "Oh my hero! You deserve a kiss!"

As he leaned in to kiss America's cheek, America turned to catch his lips. They both closed their eyes as they breathed out a laugh. England wound his arms around America's neck to pull him closer. America's hold on him tightened just slightly. How he loved feeling England react to the kiss. It was his way of knowing it wasn't just his heart that beat so fast when they were close, or that it was only him that wanted so desperately to touch when in the same room, or that he wasn't the only one in this crazy mess of love.

* * *

_Hoshiko2_'s cents: And then they fucked. On the Legos.

Actually no, ouch, fuck no.

This is the second request winner. Prompt provided by thefledglingheroine. This actually made me laugh out loud. I thought it was so cute. Ironically, I work at a toy store, so this story came to me quickly. I loved it. Hope you did too. Thank you for reading!

Feel free to stop by tumblr! I'll be having another request contest shortly. You just might win! :D


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